Gawking at the Geek Squad

No home should be without them

Side-swiped with the best of a British cold, I opened the door to greet a very smart and cheerful young lady. She reached out to shake my hand,

“Hi, I am Agent Saoni”

Dressed in an immaculate uniform of white blouse, black tie, jumper and trousers with white socks beneath her boots (to which a white card is held against them to ensure they are white enough, should she need to remove her shoes upon entering a persons house), her easy smile belied a background that contained a BSc in Electronics and Telecommunications Engineering and a Masters degree in Information and Technology.

I introduced her to PI and then lead Agent Saoni (Badge number 6139) to my poorly laptop.

Now, in fairness, I am enormously protective of my laptop. It contains within its memory years of journals, photographs and databases, all of which to me are more precious than the rest of the material goods that surround me.
However, it’s been sick. Slow and sluggish and sometimes obstinate in its illness, my laptop has even refused to do things leaving me sat before it, panicked, considering options and alternatives which are never many and none that are simple and immediate.

It has been an unnecessary stress. I have tried to compromise with my little laptop. I know she doesn’t like early mornings so when I turn her on, I then pop off, fill the kettle, turn that on too, go and start a bath running, pop back to make my coffee and finally sit before her as she flickers into lethargic life. That’s how unwell she is, at the grand old age of 9 months.

Agent Saoni had already been briefed about all of this but on arrival, sat and actively listened to me recount this again, ensuring she genuinely understood my concerns. Only when I was ready and stepped aside did she approach my little baby.
I expected to feel some anxiety, some flare of concern but Agent Saoni has been helping people like me for a long time and there was an almost tangible sense of confidence that emanated from her.
I walked away to blow my nose.

Agent Saoni is a double agent for the Geek Squad. Whilst she was sat directly before my laptop her skills and the technology available to her meant that everything she was doing she could also have done from anywhere in the world, accessing my laptop remotely. This is what the Geek Squad Covert Team do, 24/7, 365. People like myself call in to Geek Squad Mission Control and the wheels go into action instantly. Thousands of double agents are available if you want a home visit or the covert team can sort everything out (as long as it’s not a connectivity issue – do’ah) via the phone. Behind this, if ever the team encounter a problem they don’t know how to resolve, there is (based somewhere deep in America) the Secret Weapon – a team of Geeks that are like Gods in their technology knowledge. Atop of the lot of them and just as accessible is Robert, Chief Inspector (and Founder) of the Geek Squad.

Whilst here in Britian we might be tempted to tease at the geeky titles, there is no joking about the efficiency of the Geek Squad that are a household name in the USA and fast becoming the same here in the UK. Quite rightly so. Whilst Agent Saoni – only one of three female double agents here in the UK – chatted away happily, her passion and appreciation and sheer pride in the Geek Squad crystal clear in every sentence – so too she set about making my poorly laptop better.

Four hours later, with some 2.4GB of temporary files cleared down, one Trojan virus found (McAfee, I am most disappointed in you!), 88 running processes reduced to 62 and my shared secondary laptop also checked, she sat back and invited me to test my own system.

I sat down and booted it up. Voila! Up she started, bright and fast. Everything purred into life with startling efficiency. In fact, if I didn’t know better, my laptop worked faster than the day I had bought her. I sat back and marvelled, unable to smother my grin of delight.

We will be doing a full review of the Geek Squad on TakTik Bitch in early January. However after the work of Agent Saoni, PI and I are their new Number One fans.

The Geek Squad can be found (aside from any house that has computer, PDA, Wi-Fi, broadband problems) here